There are plenty of places from which to glean marriage advice, we’ve found some sarcastically charming advice in unexpected places. Need a humorous, lighthearted kick in the rear to nudge you toward the altar? Listen to Jenna McCarthy’s TED talk called “What You Don’t Know About Marriage.”
Although there are plenty of couples who seem to sprint down the isle, we recognize there are many things to consider before you commit to one, single other person for the rest of your life. There are statistics swirling around about divorce rates and unhappy marriages and affairs and so much more that deter people from looking for their own happily-ever-after. Jenna uses some silly statistics to remind us that marriages can be successful, fun, and full of a long-lasting love.
- Couples are happier when the woman is slimmer and better looking than her counterpart. Apparently men are much happier when their spouse is better looking, and more appealing to him. But don’t worry! Women, we don’t have to be skinny. According to Jenna we just have to be skinnier than him. So, bake a cake. Buy him his favorite beer. Fatten him up, and long live your marriage.
- Happy, lasting couples can find good in almost any situation. Be optimistic. If you can keep negativity out of your relationship as much as possible, you are more likely to last. This makes sense, right? When you are arguing or upset, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Is it worth the negativity? The criticism? OR could you simply pick up the dirty socks he left on the floor, think to yourself “You know, he doesn’t always pick up his dirty clothes BUT at least he puts the lid down,” and move on with a happier spouse.
- Husbands who are willing to do housework, appear more attractive to their partners. So pick a man who knows how to plug in the vacuum, run the washing machine, and doesn’t mind scrubbing the stuck on food off your dishes after your they sat out on the coffee table all night long. If you have someone who is willing to share the household chores with you, you feel more connected and more like a team. It becomes something you respect about each other, you’ll begin to see the chores as a way of expressing your love, gratitude, and respect for your spouse rather than a tedious, time consuming task.
- Childhood photographs of smiling faces, indicate individuals who are less likely to get divorced, according to McCarthy (and some study that the government wasted our tax dollars trying to find some magic antidivorce loophole). This is just one of the studies that she mentions that–we found–particularly amusing.
- The Oscar. Stay away from those. Apparently there is something called “The Oscar Curse” or the marriage kiss of death, according to McCarthy. Even watching Romantic films can increase your chances of divorce. Why? People who watch romances are reminded that their love life is “dull” or “ordinary” compared to those who don’t. McCarthy encourages you to watch horror movies or actions flicks that remind you, that your safe, happy little life is much better than explosions or hauntings or aliens overtaking the planet.
- Divorce is contagious. So don’t surround yourself with good friends who are dividing their assets and scheduling childhood visitation rights. There are some couples who could remain unaffected by this, but better safe than sorry, right? Stick with people who stick with their spouse.
- Need a monetary incentive? There are over a thousand legal benefits recorded by the federal government that are strictly awarded to married couples. Three words: “joint tax returns.”
- Couples who are married tend to be healthier. In all aspects of their lives: physically, emotionally and mentally. So, if you want to lead a healthier life you should definitely consider matrimony.
- People in monogamous, committed marriage relationships have been shown to produce happier, healthier, more productive children in to society. Basically, kids who come from a home where their parents are still married are better for our society and ultimately the future of the world. Consider that.
- Married people live longer. Plain and simple.
Now, this is just a funny video to help you relax. Marriage is a serious, life-long decision. Take all of these goofy tips into consideration, but always trust your Mama and do like she always told you, choose wisely.