10 Tips for a Lasting Marriage


There are plenty of places from which to glean marriage advice, we’ve found some sarcastically charming advice in unexpected places. Need a humorous, lighthearted kick in the rear to nudge you toward the altar? Listen to Jenna McCarthy’s TED talk called “What You Don’t Know About Marriage.

Although there are plenty of couples who seem to sprint down the isle, we recognize there are many things to consider before you commit to one, single other person for the rest of your life. There are statistics swirling around about divorce rates and unhappy marriages and affairs and so much more that deter people from looking for their own happily-ever-after. Jenna uses some silly statistics to remind us that marriages can be successful, fun, and full of a long-lasting love.

Jenna’s Tips

  1. Couples are happier when the woman is slimmer and better looking than her counterpart. Apparently men are much happier when their spouse is better looking, and more appealing to him. But don’t worry! Women, we don’t have to be skinny. According to Jenna we just have to be skinnier than him. So, bake a cake. Buy him his favorite beer. Fatten him up, and long live your marriage.
  2. Happy, lasting couples can find good in almost any situation. Be optimistic. If you can keep negativity out of your relationship as much as possible, you are more likely to last. This makes sense, right? When you are arguing or upset, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Is it worth the negativity? The criticism? OR could you simply pick up the dirty socks he left on the floor, think to yourself “You know, he doesn’t always pick up his dirty clothes BUT at least he puts the lid down,” and move on with a happier spouse.
  3. Husbands who are willing to do housework, appear more attractive to their partners. So pick a man who knows how to plug in the vacuum, run the washing machine, and doesn’t mind scrubbing the stuck on food off your dishes after your they sat out on the coffee table all night long. If you have someone who is willing to share the household chores with you, you feel more connected and more like a team. It becomes something you respect about each other, you’ll begin to see the chores as a way of expressing your love, gratitude, and respect for your spouse rather than a tedious, time consuming task.
  4. Childhood photographs of smiling faces, indicate individuals who are less likely to get divorced, according to McCarthy (and some study that the government wasted our tax dollars trying to find some magic antidivorce loophole). This is just one of the studies that she mentions that–we found–particularly amusing.
  5. The Oscar. Stay away from those. Apparently there is something called “The Oscar Curse” or the marriage kiss of death, according to McCarthy. Even watching Romantic films can increase your chances of divorce. Why? People who watch romances are reminded that their love life is “dull” or “ordinary” compared to those who don’t. McCarthy encourages you to watch horror movies or actions flicks that remind you, that your safe, happy little life is much better than explosions or hauntings or aliens overtaking the planet.
  6. Divorce is contagious. So don’t surround yourself with good friends who are dividing their assets and scheduling childhood visitation rights. There are some couples who could remain unaffected by this, but better safe than sorry, right? Stick with people who stick with their spouse.
  7. Need a monetary incentive? There are over a thousand legal benefits recorded by the federal government that are strictly awarded to married couples. Three words: “joint tax returns.”
  8. Couples who are married tend to be healthier. In all aspects of their lives: physically, emotionally and mentally. So, if you want to lead a healthier life you should definitely consider matrimony.
  9. People in monogamous, committed marriage relationships have been shown to produce happier, healthier, more productive children in to society. Basically, kids who come from a home where their parents are still married are better for our society and ultimately the future of the world. Consider that.
  10. Married people live longer. Plain and simple.

Now, this is just a funny video to help you relax. Marriage is a serious, life-long decision. Take all of these goofy tips into consideration, but always trust your Mama and do like she always told you, choose wisely.


The Age Old Question: Open, Cash, or No Bar?

We realize here at Big Hat that this is something that really gets people going. Whether its a family discrepancy, a budget issue, or something else, the beverage situation can cause friction in the planning of a big day. So, we wanted to make it a little bit simpler for you, we compiled a piktochart. It represents the pros & cons to each it is designed to help you decide which option is best for you and your wedding day.

Consider Your Options:

First you need to understand the aspects of each option. An open bar is where you provide your guests with alcoholic beverages with no cost to them. This is convenient for guests because they don’t need to worry about bringing cash. There are several options, for instance you might choose to have an open bar that serves only wine and beer. A cash bar provides guests with drinks for purchase. This allows guests to buy their own drinks during the reception. Once again, there are several options, you can choose top shelf liquor or lower priced spirits to provide for your guests. Lastly, no bar, which is exactly what it sounds like: no alcohol. Weddings without alcohol are often a result of family beliefs and opinions, or simply as an attempt to keep costs lower. You can, however, still offer a champagne toast!

Pros & Cons:

We hope you will explore the piktochart in order to become more accustomed to the pros and cons of each. But one thing we feel we need to note is that Open Bars have many different forms. You can choose to serve strictly beer and wine, you may set a limit so that your guests will no longer be served once they have collectively consumed a set amount (like $3000 worth), you may choose to serve cheaper versions of everyone’s favorite spirits rather than the top shelf bottles. So, if you’re opting out of alcohol for budgetary reasons make sure you explore your options to see if it is possible for you to do something other than the “traditional” open bar. However, cash bars are another way to save on your costs.

Whatever you choose, just make sure you, your groom, and your families are comfortable with the choice! Your wedding is about you, and while you want to keep your guests happy they are not top priority on this particular occasion.

cash, open, none

“I Present to You Mr. and Mrs…”

There are so many details that are so meticulously decided when planning a wedding. We understand that your head will be spinning. But one decision we recommended that you really, I mean really think about, is who will officiate your ceremony.

The officiant can make or break your big moment, your “I do” that is seen as foundational for the rest of your marriage.

Refer to Buffalo Bride
In an article written by Jill Jaracz on Buffalo Bride’s website called “Selecting Your Wedding Officiant,” does a great job of summing up how to designate the responsibility of presenting you and your new spouse to the world.

Who to Choose?
Jaracz says that a lot of couples like to make it personal by having a close family member perform the ceremony. But she cautions, make sure that they take it seriously there use you might end up with a wedding catastrophe on your hands. Some times people who aren’t used to speaking in front of a large crowd, or any size crowd for that matter, tend to get nervous and might forget their lines.

Just make you sure they know what you expect and how you want them to present themselves during the ceremony. Let he or she practice and make sure they are comfortable before the big day.

It is your job to make sure that your officiant is prepared if he or she is not a professional. Choose wisely, and check reviews online if you are going with someone other than a family member or close friend.

Jaracz suggests checking online resources like Instagram or YouTube to see how an officiant performs. Reading reviews can be helpful in determining if a particular officiant will fit into how you see your big day panning out. Make sure you meet with more than one candidate before determining who will present you as a couple to your family and friends.

Regardless of who married you, your day will be special because it is the beginning of a lifelong commitment with the one you love. Even though we stress all of these little details, keep that in mind!